The 12-day trip that I endured with my photographer and Bob Moldenhauer from May 9th to May 20, 2022 took a physical toll on me. While my right arm was nearly broken in two during the last couple hours of our journey, that was a minor inconvenience compared to what happened to me two days earlier. As the clock struck noon on May 18th, Tom attempted to straighten-out my crooked head before I posed for photos on the Jefferson Pier, located near the Washington Monument. As he made the adjustment, I heard a snap; everything went dark. The metal spring in my neck had broken; there was nothing to keep my head attached to my body. For temporary fixes, Tom used gauze tape, Gorilla Glue, and Sticky Tack; but nothing worked well. I was able to complete the final two-and-half days of the trip, even though there was a near-disaster in Canton, Ohio when my head accidentally fell off and bounced off a sidewalk.
There was only one way I could be saved; one procedure, that if successful, would allow me to continue my quest of visiting Presidential sites. I needed Spring Replacement Surgery, which was a very delicate procedure never performed on a bobble head before. The biggest question I had was: “Where would we find a new spring that would fit around my neck; would be the perfect length; and would allow my head to once again bobble?” The answer, from my photographer/surgeon, was simple: “From another bobble head.”
For that to happen, however, we needed a donor. We needed a bobble head who would volunteer to sacrifice their life so I could live on. I didn’t think that was too much to ask for. When I looked at Tom’s Presidential bobble head collection on May 21st, the day after we returned home from our trip, I didn’t see any of those guys raising their hands to be asked first. Even my “evil twin”, a “second edition” Royal Bobble Thomas Jefferson who was painted differently than me, just shook his head no when I looked him in the eyes. He would’ve been the logical choice; there was no doubt his spring would’ve been very compatible.
As I began to panic, Tom laughed and told me not to worry – he had the solution. My photographer said none of the bobble heads in his collection needed to volunteer because he had actually taken the donor with us on our last trip. At that moment, he removed Abraham Lincoln from his larger secondary camera bag; and I could see that poor bobble head was in bad shape. It turned out Tom had accidentally dropped Lincoln in February, just moments after he recorded an episode of our show ‘Hail to the Chief’ at GBS Studios. Both of Abe’s legs were broken and had separated from his base when he hit the hard floor. “The Great Emancipator” could no longer stand on his own. I also learned that my photographer had secretly taken Abe on our trip to Washington D.C. where he planned a “burial at sea”. That’s right, Tom wanted to ceremoniously drop Lincoln from the Arlington Memorial Bridge into the Potomac River not too far behind the Lincoln Memorial. There, the Abraham Lincoln bobble head would rest for eternity.
My surgery was originally scheduled for May 21, 2022, but was postponed for a few days because my surgeon was unsure of how to remove Lincoln’s spring without damaging it. Three days later, on the morning of May 24th, I was carried to the operating room and the procedure began. I was extremely nervous; it was literally do or die time for me. If something went wrong and the new spring didn’t work, my traveling career would be over. Getting discarded to a landfill crossed my mind. When Tom removed my head for the final time, everything went black. Even though I was unconscious, here is what happened during the procedure through the words of my surgeon.
“I took a thin hook and removed all of the blue “Sticky Tack” puddy from inside Jefferson’s head. I also needed to remove the original gob of 3M Tack, which I had put there after Garfield’s ghost removed TJ’s head in 2013. The old, hardened Tack still had the broken half of the spring in it, and it was difficult to extract. Thankfully I was able to grab it with a pair of needle-nose pliers and it came out after several attempts.”
“Next, I needed to remove the small section of spring that was still attached to Jefferson’s neck. Once again, I used my pliers to grab one end of the spring, and I unwound it until the spring suddenly popped off. During that part of the procedure, which lasted only a minute or so, I had to be very careful not to break TJ’s neck. Had Jefferson’s neck broken from his body, that would’ve been his demise. But I got lucky; Jefferson’s vital signs looked good, and TJ was in good shape to receive the transplant.”
“When it was time to remove the donor spring from Abraham Lincoln, I was forced to use a highly technical piece of surgical equipment – a one-pound sledgehammer. I laid our 16th President onto my concrete driveway and took several hard whacks on Lincoln’s head with the hammer before it broke into two large pieces – leaving the spring still attached to Abe’s neck. I had to give Royal Bobbles credit – Lincoln’s skull was thick and very hard to crack open. Had John Wilkes Booth used a hammer instead of a pistol, Lincoln would have survived the assassin’s attack at Ford’s Theater.”
“Removing the spring from Lincoln’s neck took more precision than it did with Jefferson; I couldn’t just yank it off with my pliers. Lincoln’s spring needed to remain in pristine shape, which took more time and a lot more thought. Finally, I used my trusty hook to loosen the spring from around Abe’s neck, which worked to perfection. After a couple of gentle pries, the silver spring fell into my left hand. And the best part of all? Lincoln’s spring looked brand new and was ready to be transplanted into Thomas Jefferson.”
“Before I attached Lincoln’s spring into TJ, I wanted to use some touch-up paint on Jefferson’s gnarly-looking neck. After I mixed a small amount of tan paint with a dab of black, I used a small brush to cover some of Jefferson’s battle scars he had acquired over 58,000 miles of travel. When the paint dried, I carefully slid the spring onto TJ’s neck and applied a couple drops of Gorilla Glue. Since I already had the tube of glue exposed, I applied a small dab of glue to Jefferson’s severed right arm and reattached the limb to his body at that time. I held the arm tightly in place for roughly two minutes before it seemed secure enough to let go.”
“The last part of the Spring Replacement Surgery was the most challenging for me – I needed to think of the best possible way to permanently secure the top of the new spring to the inside of Jefferson’s head. Luckily, I found an unused stick of 3M Tack in our junk drawer, which I heated up for a few seconds in the microwave. I rolled-up a generous gob of the Tack into a small ball and inserted it into the opening of TJ’s head; I used my trusty pliers to push the Tack into place on the inner portion of his skull. After I placed a second, but smaller, gob of Tack onto the spring, I added a few drops of Gorilla Glue to the Tack and slid it carefully into Jefferson’s head. I quickly aligned TJ’s face with the front of his body, then I pushed both halves together and held them tightly for several minutes. For added protection, I dripped several drops of wood glue into Jefferson’s head and placed his entire body upside down and in between two pillows where he stayed for several hours. When I felt the entire concoction had dried, I set the bobble head upright onto the surgical table and tested Jefferson’s newly attached spring. By five o’clock in the afternoon, I deemed the surgery a complete success! Like John Adams once said: Jefferson still survives!”
When Tom removed me from the pillows and set me upright, I regained consciousness – I could see and hear again. Even though I felt a bit drowsy, I was still alive, and my head once again bobbled. But then I saw him; and it was a sight I’ll never forget. The body of Abraham Lincoln, with his severed head split in two pieces, was lying on the table next to me. Lincoln was my friend; my colleague; and he was the bobble head who saved my life. I will be forever grateful for his sacrifice.
I had roughly two months to fully recover before my next scheduled trip; a trip that was very much in jeopardy prior to surgery. I have a new lease of life, thanks to my friend. Abraham Lincoln is now part of me; a huge part of me. And when my head wiggles, I’ll think of him. As a matter of fact, I even conjured-up a new quote for the occasion: “Four or more months ago, my colleague brought forth onto this humble servant a new spring, conceived in generosity, and dedicated to the proposition that all bobble heads are created equal. I shall now have a new birth of freedom, dedicated that my tales of the Presidents, by the Presidents, for the Presidents, shall not perish from the Earth.”
** This post is dedicated to my friend and fellow bobble head – Abraham Lincoln. I have a special request for YOU: Please register to be an ORGAN DONOR today! Your “spring” might help save someone else’s life! **
