169: “JERRY’S WORLD” WAS OUT OF THIS WORLD

Our last full day in Plano, Texas began at 7:15am on Wednesday October 20, 2021. That day’s agenda had our group headed for the Fort Worth Stockyards where we’d watch their famous cattle drive, which was held twice daily – first at 11:30am and the day’s last drive at 4:00pm. My COBS-infested photographer suggested we needed to leave Bill and Kim’s house no later than 10:15 to ensure we had enough time to make the 45-mile drive, find parking, and get in position to watch the cattle drive. I knew for a fact that Tom didn’t want to miss that first drive and be forced to stay at the stockyards until four o’clock.

The two of us were downstairs and ready to roll at nine o’clock. But we were the only ones. After 45 minutes of watching the others lollygag, Tom calming mentioned to his daughter Ashley that we needed to be on the road by 10:15. That forced my photographer’s “Mini Me” 35-year-old daughter to snap back with a dozen excuses as to the reasons they had dragged their feet for over an hour. I wasn’t surprised and I don’t think Tom was either – the two of us have tagged it as “The Fiscelli Factor”. But on that morning, my camera guy had his fill of the dilly-dallying. When the group was finally ready to depart for Fort Worth at 10:45am, which was a half-hour late, Tom decided to boycott the trip rather than fight with his daughter the entire day. Both were stubborn and had “locked horns” all morning. I just sat back and laughed. I was happy we weren’t going to Fort Worth. However, I didn’t want to sit around the house all day either. I wanted Tom to take me back to Dealey Plaza in Anthony’s rented Jeep. Unfortunately for me, that didn’t happen.

So, what does a fat guy, a bobble head, and a small morkie do all day when they’re left alone in a mansion? We sat and watched television; even though we were only twenty miles from the Kennedy assassination site. Oh, Tom had lunch and played a little bit with Riggins; but for the most part we watched “The Andy Griffith Show” and a movie called “Cowboys vs. Aliens”. When those were finished, Tom, Riggs, and I played Reese’s favorite game called ‘Take A Nap’. That particular game was invented by my photographer shortly after his grandkids were able to walk and talk.

The clan returned from Fort Worth at roughly five o’clock. I thought for sure Tom and Ash’s conflict would resume as soon as they walked through the door, especially when my photographer’s daughter said: “We got there in time to see the cattle drive at eleven-thirty. I told you we had plenty of time.” Tom replied in a semi-sarcastic tone: “You got lucky – Kim must’ve driven!”

When Bill came home from work a short time later, he had brought dinner with him. The feast came from a local Mexican restaurant in Plano and from what I could see, it was fit for a king. My photographer and his wife enjoy authentic Mexican food, which they usually get from the local Taco Bell in St. Clair. Sally Knight, Kim’s mom and Vicki’s aunt, joined us for dinner as well. Sally knew it was our last night in Plano, and she wanted to say her goodbyes. Our entire group talked, and laughed, and shared stories one last time. As for Riggs and me, we sat back and watched; although the morkie waited for someone to drop a gob of taco meat. I noticed the pooch stayed close to where Reese and Brooke were eating.

Everyone settled down for the night at roughly 10:30pm. When Tom placed me on the nightstand, I stood there and thought about how we wasted the entire day. Don’t get me wrong – I love “The Andy Griffith Show”. But I love the JFK sites in Dallas even more. Had my resin leg not been permanently attached to my base, I would’ve kicked Tom right in the keister for not taking me back to Dealey Plaza. But then it dawned on me why he chose to stay in Plano. My photographer knew there was a huge additional charge for tolls on Anthony’s rented Jeep and he simply didn’t want to rack-up a ton of extra charges for the Fiscelli’s. That made sense to me and helped clear my resin mind for the remainder of the night. I had one final thought: How did I ever get hooked up with such a cheapskate?

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Tom’s alarm went off at seven o’clock on Thursday morning October 21, 2021. It was moving day. That meant for the first time since Monday, all of our belonging would once again get stowed away in the Jeep. I knew my photographer had arranged for our entire group to tour AT&T Stadium in Arlington, Texas at 11:00am. I also knew with “The Fiscelli Factor” still in effect, we’d be lucky to get to the home of the Dallas Cowboys on time. And I was almost right. By the time everyone got ready, got the two Jeep’s packed, sorted out who was riding with whom, strapped the kids into their car seats, it was a few minutes after ten o’clock when we started to roll. After what seemed to be an eternity to get to Arlington, we pulled into the stadium’s parking lot at precisely 10:50am. I nearly fainted – we were ten minutes early.

AT&T Stadium was first known as Cowboy Stadium when it opened in 2009 and it stayed that way until Jerry Jones sold the naming rights in 2013. Prior to its grand opening, fans in the Dallas area had some great suggestions for a name; including “Jerry’s World”, the “Death Star”, “The Palace in Dallas”, “Cowboys Cathedral”, and “Jerrassic Park”. The first event held in Cowboys Stadium was a country and western concert on June 6, 2009 that featured Blake Shelton, Reba McEntire, Lee Ann Womack, and George Straight. My photographer and I figured KISS had never played there as the top of the dome wasn’t scorched and the exterior windows weren’t cracked.

From the outside, the retractable-domed stadium resembled a giant spaceship that had landed near the Ballpark in Arlington. When we went indoors, it was the largest stadium I had ever set foot in. As a matter of fact, it’s the largest domed stadium in the world and the largest enclosed stadium in the NFL. In 2009, when Cowboys Stadium opened, it boasted the World’s Largest HD Video Display on its massive, suspended overhead board. When the Cowboys hosted the New York Giants for the 2009 regular season opener, 105,121 fans crammed into the stadium to watch the game.

During our 90-minute tour, we visited nearly every aspect of “Jerry’s World”, including a private luxury suite, the Dallas Cowboys locker room, and of course, the Dallas Cowboys Cheerleaders locker room. But best of all, we spent over twenty minutes frolicking around on the football field. When Tom placed me in the middle of the giant blue star on the 50-yard line, I couldn’t believe where I was standing. Some of the greatest athletes who’ve ever donned an NFL uniform have played where I was at, including my favorite player, Tom Brady. There was one hilarious moment on the field when Tom and Anthony threw passes to each other with a borrowed football. The first handful of passes my photographer threw went less than ten yards and they were extremely inaccurate. At first, I thought he was doing an impression of Ben Roethlisberger; but it turned out Tom’s arm just “ain’t what it used to be”. When Tom and his son-in-law played catch, I noticed how the bright glare from the windows at both ends of the stadium made the thrown ball difficult to see. Whether you’re a Dallas Cowboys fan or not, please take a moment and take a tour of AT&T stadium through the lens of my photographer’s camera.

Our visit to “Jerry’s World” couldn’t have gone better; even though Bill Johnson had joined us late. Nothing in the stadium seemed to be off-limits, although we never made it inside Jerry Jones’ private box. We did see three cowboys on our tour, albeit none of them were Dak Prescott, Ezekiel Elliott, or Cee Dee Lamb. As a matter of fact, they weren’t “Dallas Cowboys” at all; they were regular tourists, just like the nine of us. I still couldn’t ignore the fact how much AT&T Stadium looked like a gigantic alien spaceship. So much so, in fact, I thought perhaps we’d embark on an intergalactic voyage as soon as the Earthlings, and bobble heads, had boarded.

When our tour had ended and the spaceship landed back on Earth, our group quickly emerged from the silver saucer. Instead of hearing anyone say: “Take me to your leader”, however, I thought I heard Vicki or Kim say: “Take me to get some lunch”. Our caravan of three vehicles followed one another to a large complex located less than a half mile from AT&T Stadium. The shopping complex was called ‘Texas Live!’ and it was situated directly between the two baseball stadiums – the old Ballpark in Arlington and the new stadium called Globe Life Field. The mall was filled with a handful of “big name” eateries including “Guy Fieri’s Taco Joint”, HOF catcher Ivan Rodriguez’s “Pudge’s Pizza”, and “Troy’s”, which was a high-end sports bar opened by quarterback Troy Aikman. Some of those places weren’t open at one-thirty in the afternoon, so we were forced to dine at the exquisite “Live! Arena” that featured a menu fit for a king. Okay, maybe it was fit for the king’s jester instead. I laughed to myself when all five girls ordered fried chicken strips, while the guys had a unique smorgasbord of burgers. As for me, I just sat back and watched the feeding frenzy; the entire time I wondered when I’d get to see another Presidential site.

Located exactly 102 miles from AT&T Stadium was our final stop of the day; and it was one that promised to be pure paradise. We were headed back to ‘Paradise Farm’ near Streetman, Texas that’s been Bill and Kim Johnson’s home-away-from-home for the past several years. The impressive farm was also home to three longhorns named Rusty, Lyla, and Tyra that I had met in 2019.

Early afternoon traffic was heavy and hectic on the southern outskirts of Dallas. But once we left the suburbs and headed south on I-45, it was smooth sailing for the remainder of the nearly two-hour drive. It would’ve taken less time, but Vicki and Kim needed a bathroom and snack break at a huge highway service center called Buc-ee’s near Ennis, Texas. Kim had decided to ride with my photographer and his wife, while Bill Johnson returned to their Plano house to pick up Riggins. As far as the Fiscelli’s; they passed us a mile or two from AT&T Stadium and they left us in their dust. Tom drove a bit more cautiously because he’s old and the ‘Family Truckster’ was involved in an accident during the previous week. Anthony, on the other hand, drove his rental Jeep like he stole it. I thought to myself: “The Fiscelli’s take forever to get moving, but once they do, they go like a bat out of hell.”

After what seemed to be the longest hundred miles in history, we arrived at Paradise Farm at roughly 4:45pm. But before we could unpack the two Jeeps, it was time to get reacquainted with the three longhorns. For Reese and Brooke, who only see large animals in a zoo, they had their first up close and personal look at Rusty, Lyla, and Tyra.

An hour or so after we arrived at the farm, our family fun was put on temporary hold when Ashley and Kim suddenly fell ill. Then it was Brooke’s turn to worship at the altar of the “porcelain god”. No one knew for sure what had caused the sudden onset of nausea, but one thing was for certain, it was likely not COVID-19. That virus was deemed to be nonexistent in Texas by a certain female medical expert with the last name of Johnson. Their sudden illnesses were likely caused by residual germs from Reese, since she was sick a few days earlier. Or it could’ve been possible food poisoning from tainted chicken strips – even though Vicki and Reese had eaten the same food at the same time from the same place.

Another catastrophe plagued our first day on the farm when wasps had infiltrated the guest house where the Fiscelli’s were scheduled to stay. That meant only one thing: All eight people, along with Riggs and me, would spend the night in the three-bedroom farmhouse. After dinner, some of the folks watched the Browns defeat the Broncos 17-14 on Thursday Night Football – although Ash and Kim hadn’t left the confines of their rooms since the onset of their nausea. When the TV was turned off just before midnight, Tom made his way into the bedroom where Vicki was already fast asleep. It was at that moment when my photographer realized there was no room in the inn; both Reese and Brooke were in bed with their Nana. I had to admit, I thought the look on Tom’s face was priceless when he returned to the living area and curled up on the couch.

Throughout that first night, I stood on a table across the room from where Tom slept. My night was far from peaceful, however. As hard as I tried to think about our next day’s scheduled adventure to the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library, my attention was focused on the back window. I thought I heard mysterious noises that seemed to originate from the pitch-black backyard. I was scared to death and did my best to ignore the rustling sound. But that was impossible. I knew for sure, at least in my mind, Sasquatch would appear in that window at any moment, and I was helpless to do anything about it. As a last resort, I played the song “Dominique” over and over inside my head in an attempt to drown-out the outdoor disturbance. And it worked. It seemed as though Squatch hated that song as much as Vicki did.

** This post is dedicated to a woman I’ve known and admired for many years – Ms Sally Knight **